I believe the concept of the "Said Book" was first invented at the Turkey City science fiction workshop in Texas. The "Said Book" is a fictitious tome that contains all the alternatives for the word "said" that bad writers use: "he uttered, she demanded, he barked, she expostulated,..." This led to the term "said-bookism" for excerpts from the "Said Book." The term has since become widespread throughout the SF field.
Said-bookisms are bad. Said-bookisms should be avoided. There is nothing wrong with using "said" over and over again. "He said this, she said that, he said something else in return..." Using "said" is highly preferable to using some fancy word that makes your writing sound ridiculous.
| I allow myself the occasional use of common words like “ask”, “answer”, or “tell”, and when appropriate, words like “shout” or “mutter.” I consider these to be words that don’t sound idiotic when used in the right context. |
Of course, there's nothing wrong with the occasional use of something other than "said": "She whispered, 'I love you.'" In a sentence like that, "whispered" conveys an image and emotion that "said" wouldn't...and "whispered" is an unpretentious word that doesn't sound like the writer is showing off.
But "said" is still the great workhorse—it does the job almost anywhere, and even if you use it in one sentence after another, it doesn't sound repetitive. It's such a small common word that it just flies by.
In many cases you don't need to use "said" or any other word. Readers know who's speaking without needing to be told.
"Ten hut!"
The lieutenant watched his men leap off their cots and snap to attention. He walked slowly down the row, not meeting anyone's eye until he came to Johnson. "Is that your uniform, private?"
"Sir, yes, sir!"
"Your official uniform?"
"Sir, yes, sir!"
"The uniform you were issued by a duly authorized quartermaster of the Federated Infantry?"
"Sir, yes, sir!"
The lieutenant reached out and picked a tiny bit of fluff off the boy's collar. "Nice uniform, Private." He moved on down the line.
None of the above speeches were directly attributed to a particular character, but I hope you had no trouble identifying who was speaking. There were two reasons for that. First, several speeches were juxtaposed with actions, as in
The lieutenant reached out and picked a tiny bit of fluff off the boy's collar. "Nice uniform, Private."
The lieutenant does something and then there's a speech. We naturally attribute the speech to the lieutenant.
| Many people have odd ideas about how to punctuate dialogue: where to put the quotation marks, and whether punctuation marks go inside or outside. Consult one of the style guides mentioned in the Resources section of this seminar. Learn what you’re supposed to do, then do it. |
Second, there's a substantial difference in how the two characters speak. Johnson only says, "Sir, yes, sir!" The lieutenant is smug and domineering throughout, just as we expect such lieutenants to be. Readers can tell the two characters apart by the tone of voice. Because tone of voice distinguishes the speakers, we don't need to put in explicit attributions.
As a rough rule of thumb, consider putting in
attributions at least every four speeches. The attribution doesn't
have to be an explicit, "He said..." It can just be a
juxtaposition of the speech with an action by the speaker. If you go
more than four speeches without an attribution, readers get
confused about who's speaking. (The preceding example
actually went six speeches without an attribution, but the
"Sir, yes, sir!" lines so clearly belonged to the private that I
wasn't worried about readers getting lost.)
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Copyright © 2001, James Alan Gardner